Tuesday, August 12, 2008

These Days

Suddenly there is lot to write. I no longer feel so frustrated with my life. There's much to think about. Write about. There's so much which can change. Isn't this the best part? Hoping, wishing. Struggling to find your way. Little victories which come after every few days. Small periods of setbacks. Stupid tricks that your mind plays to keep your spirits up.
Suddenly I feel more aware of myself and the world around. It's like I can look at things more clearly. It's a mix of confidence, dreams and fears. It's like being alone in a zone where no one else really matters. I like this shell of mine and I would rather be in it than have conversations with my friends. Doesn't mean I have stopped talking to people or I don't need them. The problem is that I would end up talking about a particular club in some B School and why I would totally love to be there. Don't think my friends would be too interested in that! But I need this shell more than anything or anyone right now.
Suddenly the setbacks and failures of the past which left me broken don't matter anymore. Because I'm sick of remembering them. Because I think I deserve a fresh start. Yes, I hate that word but I really think I do.
And suddenly this feels like such a huge emotional journey. Not only because it could set you on course for your entire life but also because, it's like looking at your life again, more closely, in a different light.


cathatfished said...
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cathatfished said...

i read your blog, read this somewhere right after and then thought i would come back to your blog.. cos this

Hope is that thing inside us that insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it, and to work for it, and to fight for it.

is what i read and it sounds so apt :)