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Friday, December 08, 2006

Today

Something's not right today. It's mainly got to do with the fact that the feeling of being stuck in the wrong job has managed to push its head up through the myriad of others that keep wandering in my mind. I have been given the unenviable task of understanding and writing code for some application of which I have absolutely no idea. I have been thrown tons of industry jargons which I am finding very tough to digest. In short I am desperately waiting for the clock to strike 8 after which I head to a pub with a group of friends to listen to Metallica, Doors and Pink Floyd and have some beer too. It's nothing new to me though. I have these phases. Phases of restlessness characterised by an extreme eagerness to break free of this tepid existence and do something crazy which I can't do, or rather wouldn't do. There's this sudden rush of adrenaline. An urge to go out to someplace remote, isolated, attend music concerts, perform on stage and what not. I feel so restless during these times that I feel like taking the plunge. It feels as if I am holding myself back. Living a life that's not meant to be mine, saying to myself what can I do that will change all this overnight. Why does life need to be so predictable. Why cant I let myself loose. Ok, financial stability is one factor. I mean I cant possible leave everything and go on a world tour right now!! But within the realms of my existence there ought to be several avenues which I haven't ever explored. Possibilities which seem distant but are not. It is during these moments of madness that I look at myself, the kind of person I am and feel that something's gone terribly wrong somewhere. And the worst part of it is I don't know how to set it right.

Most probably when I get up tomorrow morning and start practicing "Sound Of Silence" on my guitar, all would seem right with the world. But someday, I think I will break free.

4 comments:

sunny said...

Life is like that dude, you never get what you want, you'll always have to adjust, compromise. Just let yourself loose, flow with time, and one day you'll break free.

Nandeeta said...

if u ever do break free - and i hope u do :D - tell me how to do it ya.. :D

Aneesh said...

dost, you can very much leave everything and go on a world tour now... baki sab bekaar ki baat hai...

aur soch, jo log aise kaam karte hain, voh sab kuchh chhod kar hi aise kaam karte hain, they are not bound by the smaller things in life (paisa/bandi/support)

vaise yeh sab mujhpar bhi apply hota hai, but still, funde dene mein kya hai...

tpraja said...

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ByIndia.com First to Blend Search, Social Network, Video Sharing and Auctions Into One Seamless Product for Indian Internet Users.