I have always been uneasy with transition. I like the morning, the afternoon and the night. Dawns and dusks don't particularly excite me. I feel it in everything I do and in everything that happens to me. I don't like the train journeys to my home and back. They somehow make be uncomfortable, edgy; for I feel like I am neither here nor there. I love being in my hostel with my friends and I love being in my home with my family. But the transition, the wait for the destination as stations roll by the window, always makes me anxious. It's not that I abhor change. Nothing, they say, is permanent but change. It's just that the twilight zone unsettles me. So with about a month to go before I finish this journey which started five years ago and embark on a new one, I once again find myself in the same predicament which has troubled me on my train journeys, albeit on a much smaller scale; I am eagerly looking forward to end this journey and move ahead but at the same time I am loath to leave this place.
Five years is a long time to spend in a place, and when I say place I mean much more than a city. It's the corridors of your hostel, the kilometre long walk to the institute , the LT's that you slept in, the labs that you went to primarily for the air conditioning, the dhaba near your hostel where you have had numerous cups of tea and parathas, the music events that you won and more so the ones that you didn't, it's the market opposite the main gate of your institute, it's the Chanakyas and the Priyas that have become more than a part of your life. In fact, they are your life. I mean so much has happened in the five years that I have spent here and such has been its impact that it easily stands out as the most significant period of my life. Well you might say that this is the case for almost every college going student, it's a huge period in his life. I totally agree but nonetheless I feel like writing about it for it's these five years which has taught me things about myself I didn't know, it has in a long way defined the person that I am and but for this place, I am sure I would have been a lesser one at that. It has given me experiences to cherish for my entire life, friends who have varied from the boisterous to the suave, from the predictable to the one having the most unlikely mood swings, from the eternal phattu to the ultimate bindaas and from the erudite to the lover boy and the coder (pun intended!), friends with whom every moment spent has been a delight and a revealation.
Throughout these years several things have changed. The standard and frequency of treats for example, have undergone sea changes and have gone up from the KL and mezbaan to the Pizza Huts and the TGIF's. People who spent their yesteryears in all boys schools have become the love-gurus of today. Tandoori roti has given way to tawa roti, the SAC floor has been replaced by the Convo. The LAN has seen new avatars of file sharing every year and has moved on from the pioneering Tobu to by far the strongest and the longest surviving embodiment, DC++. Our modes of conveyance through the city also has changed from the bus to the auto to the bikes and finally, in our last year, to cars. And there have been some invariants also, standing ever the same even as things around them perpetually undergo major and minor alterations. So the thin people have remained thin and the healthy ones have maintained their health, each category continually harbouring thoughts of metamorphosis into the other form. And amidst all these, I changed too. I came in here as a boy who had just about conquered the world. In between there was the realisation that not everything in life goes your way though at the same time you are much more than what the world takes you for. There was the bitterness of defeat and failure along with the sweetness of achievement. I mastered the art of doing things at the last moment and just scraping through. I fell in love with the idea of buying books solely based on the blurb and the title and on the way came across gems like The Kite Runner. I learnt to play the guitar and sing along with my friends the entire night. I went trekking to a place where at night the only sound is that of a river gushing by and the only light is that of the thousand and one stars above you. I moved from writing a personal diary to a public blog. I also studied about Computer Science and realised that it's not my calling in life and something I would want to do ten years down the line.
One of my friends said that looking back, the past years have given us more than we could ever hope and I think he is probably right. So as I await the beginning of a new chapter in my life, the only thing that I hope, is for it to be as different from the others as this one has been.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Koi na yaar....
I had planned this post days back. It's just that I had hoped it to be different.
What do you do when something you have been really looking forward to for almost a year doesn't happen; when something that actually interested you and made you work hard for the first time in five years goes completely awry; when you are made to realise that your estimation of yourself doesn't at all tally with the powers that be?
I started with blaming my luck. Thereafter it veered towards the fact that what I had done (or rather not done) here being a major factor in convincing those who matter what I could do in the future. It was one of the worst days in my life and it was not because I hadn't tasted failure before. On the contrary I have had quite a few, but on most occasions either it didn't matter to me too much or I was expecting it anyways. This time though the feeling was different. It was a feeling of emptiness. I was sad because lot of people had expectations from me, I was sad because I had been unable to stand up to myself, I was sad because I had thought that finally, this would be my day, I was sad because I had given it my best shot and that had not been good enough. For months I had seen people around me achieve what they want (which is mostly getting jobs, and good ones at that), sometimes even more than that, and while I was always happy and proud to revel in their delight, for once I had hoped myself to be at the other end, to be the one being congratulated and not the one simply congratulating. Not that I didnt have my chance at all. It's just that my first reaction or thought on getting a job (which was modest by the standards set this year) was the hope that I wouldn't have to join it. It was not a feeling of elation , it was one of relief. All my planning, right from staying here in the summers last year to choosing my project guide seemed to add up to zilch. My friends and family did their bit to console me by staying as normal as they could and by the end of the day I had lost count of the number of times I had heard "Koi naa yaar.. Chill reh.. agli bar nikaal lio..." Everything they said was right; one even laughed with me about the exact same situation he was in last year and I couldn't help but laugh along with him; but though I laughed at the jokes and tried to stay as normal as I could, the fact was that I was feeling terribly low. To be very candid I don't know why, but I had never expected this to happen even in my scariest nightmares. Maybe I had expected too much, maybe I didnt't deserve it in the first place and had simply been carried away by what my friends and family made me believe, which, for all practical purposes, could have been nothing but a confidence buliding measure and not a true reflection of my worth. I don't want to go into any sort of post mortem here because that's to me useless and not the purpose of writing this post.
It's almost a day after the first result came out and the shock has slowly started to subsidise. From tomorrow it's going to be work as usual. Maybe I had put too much into this entire exercise, maybe I am just one of those fellows who is never satisfied, wants everything and is unnecessarily brooding over something which won't matter much in the long run. I really don't know. It's just that this is the way I am feeling right now, quite shattered.
Sometimes I even feel that a miracle would happen and the authorities would realise that they have made a mistake! Gosh I am desperate and a bad looser.
By the way the IIM final calls were declared today though this post has nothing to do with it.
What do you do when something you have been really looking forward to for almost a year doesn't happen; when something that actually interested you and made you work hard for the first time in five years goes completely awry; when you are made to realise that your estimation of yourself doesn't at all tally with the powers that be?
I started with blaming my luck. Thereafter it veered towards the fact that what I had done (or rather not done) here being a major factor in convincing those who matter what I could do in the future. It was one of the worst days in my life and it was not because I hadn't tasted failure before. On the contrary I have had quite a few, but on most occasions either it didn't matter to me too much or I was expecting it anyways. This time though the feeling was different. It was a feeling of emptiness. I was sad because lot of people had expectations from me, I was sad because I had been unable to stand up to myself, I was sad because I had thought that finally, this would be my day, I was sad because I had given it my best shot and that had not been good enough. For months I had seen people around me achieve what they want (which is mostly getting jobs, and good ones at that), sometimes even more than that, and while I was always happy and proud to revel in their delight, for once I had hoped myself to be at the other end, to be the one being congratulated and not the one simply congratulating. Not that I didnt have my chance at all. It's just that my first reaction or thought on getting a job (which was modest by the standards set this year) was the hope that I wouldn't have to join it. It was not a feeling of elation , it was one of relief. All my planning, right from staying here in the summers last year to choosing my project guide seemed to add up to zilch. My friends and family did their bit to console me by staying as normal as they could and by the end of the day I had lost count of the number of times I had heard "Koi naa yaar.. Chill reh.. agli bar nikaal lio..." Everything they said was right; one even laughed with me about the exact same situation he was in last year and I couldn't help but laugh along with him; but though I laughed at the jokes and tried to stay as normal as I could, the fact was that I was feeling terribly low. To be very candid I don't know why, but I had never expected this to happen even in my scariest nightmares. Maybe I had expected too much, maybe I didnt't deserve it in the first place and had simply been carried away by what my friends and family made me believe, which, for all practical purposes, could have been nothing but a confidence buliding measure and not a true reflection of my worth. I don't want to go into any sort of post mortem here because that's to me useless and not the purpose of writing this post.
It's almost a day after the first result came out and the shock has slowly started to subsidise. From tomorrow it's going to be work as usual. Maybe I had put too much into this entire exercise, maybe I am just one of those fellows who is never satisfied, wants everything and is unnecessarily brooding over something which won't matter much in the long run. I really don't know. It's just that this is the way I am feeling right now, quite shattered.
Sometimes I even feel that a miracle would happen and the authorities would realise that they have made a mistake! Gosh I am desperate and a bad looser.
By the way the IIM final calls were declared today though this post has nothing to do with it.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
My tryst with IIM-A
Havent written anything for days and not much is happening except the interviews. So after all the hype and build up finally had my IIM-A gd/pi today.... So here goes:
GD was a case study on two parties. One wanting to build a spiritual gurukul and the other, an educational institute over some disputed land (the case was going on in a court for 40 yrs)... So what should the education ministry's advisor do.....
didnt perform well in the gd.. made about 2/3 interjections... summarized at one point... not much to talk about...
Interview:
Panel consisted of 3 guys T (Techie), NT (Non Techie) and B (Bearded)
NT calls out my name and I go in
T: Good morning Atish
Me : Good Morning sir
B is browsing my data sheet and looking at my B tech + M tech gpa and seems a bit confused..
Me: Sir, actually I am in the Dual Degree program so i have split up my GPA .. Presently i am in my final sem
B: ok, Tell me atish , a lot of CS Dual students go on to startups . Dont u have any such idea
ME: No sir. i think one should not go for a startup just for the heck of it unless there's a good innovative idea. I do not have such an idea rite now. Its a good option and maybe if i have any idea then may do in but currently i do not feel i am ready
B:Atish, a lot of ur seniors have also set up startups in IIT Delhi as there is a incubation unit ( he knew a lot about IIT Delhi's startups !!).. can u name a few and what they do ?
ME: sir, Kritikal, Elfsys Embedded Solns, Virtual Wire, Genie Networks are a few.. set up by CS and EE seniors. Kritikal works in embedded and vision, genie in networks, elfsys in sensor networks , in fact i did a project with them last year on sensor nets . they develop both the h/w and s/w for it
B: name one prod developed by Kritikal
Me: Sir they have one device to scan the underside of a car to detect bombs. post the parliament attack they did this.
B: ok, what's its exact name
Me: (thinking for a while ) sir, cant seem to recollect it rite now
B: Vehicle underbelly scanner.. (laughs)
ME: (laugh) yes sir
B; what else can it be used for?
Me: sir other security..
B: no, something else
Me : think for a while but cant come up with any ....
T: Ok , do u know who the other Atish Dipankar was?
Me: yes sir, he was the first to spread buddhism in tibet and china in 10th century AD. In fact he was supposed to have crossed the himalayas on foot. He came from what we today know as bengal and his 1000th birth anniversary coincided with my birth year and so i was named after him.
T: ok, so u r from CS rite. What's a hard disk
Me: sir it is a magnetic disk with a cylinder and several disks mounted on it and a read write head. stores data
T: difference from floppy
Me: sir less storage . and floppy has only one disk . no spindle and cylinder.
T: how does the hard disk rotate
Me: sir ....
T: motor:
Me: yes sir a motor
T: what kind
Me: sir a normal motor
T: (laughs) so u mean to say there are 2 types of motors, normal and abnormal
Me: no sir (laugh)
T: have u heard of stepper motor, can it be used here..
Me: sir heard about it but dont know what it is
T: ok u said something about sensor nets. so whats Grid Computing and difference with distributed computing
Me: Sir grid computing is where we can use the computing facilities/ power of some servers/ machines remotely over a network. say some organisation has huge processing capacities and i in a univ can access it.......
T: how does it work
Me: sir uses RPC (remote procedure call)
T: so it would need a robust network. what kind of network would it need
Me: sir low latency, high bandwidth ..
T: more specific:
Me: (i am a bit lost)...blabber something about optical fibres...
T: satellites?
Me: sir may be but is costly
T: no there are so many . talks something about cable operators using them.. a grid of satellites.....See in a univ as it is u people clog the net downloading songs and movies (laughs)..so ...
Me: (laugh) sir may be it is an option
T: so u talked about sensor nets .. RFID cant we use satellites there and what about network issues there
Me: sir sensor nets are not the same as rfid.. sensor are used primarily for monitoring..
T: ok ok .. but the concept in the same
Me: sir in RFID the connectivity is wireless and the chips would communicate with a base station
T: but the network issues
ME: i talk something about cell phones increasing and clogging the bandwidth ...
T: satellites is a good solution i think...
NT: why is optical fibre better
Me: sir less attenuation than copper wire. uses total internal reflection
NT: give me one disadvantage of optical fibres
Me: hmm.............. cant think on one sir
NT: can it be bent
Me: no sir i think thats the disadv.. cant be bent around obstacles ...will create problems with TIR
NT: ok so i am a completely non tech guy . explain WLL to me
ME: sir it comprises of a closed area where end users have a handset / mobile which talks wirelessly to a base station which caters to the needs of all the end users and may be uses a different freq from other such loops....
NT: what's the "last mile connectivity"
Me: sir this very thing.. bringing the network to the end user from the last base station. coz beyond the BS the network is robust ( could be wireless or even wired)..
NT: ok atish lets' shift gears
(this is the part where it gets really gud for me !!)
NT: u have written in ur form that u are into indian writing in english. so what all authors have u read
Me: Sir, rushdie, amitav ghosh, rohinton mistry ( one book), william darlymple tho he aint an indian but writes about india. and also i have ventured a bit into others like I read this book Kite Runner by Khaled Husseini , the first writer from Afghanistan to write in english ...
NT: what did u like in that
Me: sir i read the Kite runner immediately after reading a rushdie. so whereas rushdie sweeps u off your feet with his word play, language skills , metaphors, husseini uses a very simple language filled with expressions. I mean the book is about redemption.. a guy commiting some sins while in afghanistan, going to US and then coming back to redeem himself... and is full of afghan traditions, history from the soviet invasion to taliban... it's a very poignant novel sir and some parts are fantastic...
NT: u know , Mistry and Ghosh both were from Stephen's. So can u sort of compare them...
Me: sir i have read only one novel of mistry. "A Fine Balance"...so it would be difficult to compare...hmmmm.. i think mistry pays more details to attention. ( i talk about an incident from the book).. his novel is based in bombay tho he calls it a seaside city in western india...
Ghosh's last novel that i read ( the hungry tide) is based in sunderbans. the other one was Shadow Lines and based in dhaka, kolkata and london.. they both explore the issue of identity crisis.. In hungry tide u have a us born and bred girl coming to india for the first time...
NT: so what is the fine balance in the novel
Me: sir between hope and dispair
NT: do u think it was a fine balance
ME: no sir , to me the dispairs of the 4 main characters of the novel were far greater than the hope that they had...
NT: ok lets change gears again Atish
NT: so u play the guitar... do u know vishwa mohan bhatt
ME: yes sir, i have even seen him perform in IIT
NT; what does he play .. he did something to the guitar ...
ME: he plays the Mohan veena, he invented this instrument.. He attached strings underneath the normal six strings of a hawaiian guitar which resonate with the above strings...
NT: whats the diff b/w hawaiian and spanish guitar
ME: sir spnish is played with the fingers and hawaiian is played with an iron /steel rod since there is a bridge at the end of the fret board
NT: u also play the tabla.....asks some term.. do u know this
Me: no sir i havent heard about it. may be the terminology is different
NT: do u know what "Nad" is
ME: sir heard about it but do not know
NT: so what do u play(taals in tabla)
Me ; sir mostly roopak, dadra, teental, keherwa. we had a fusion band in IIT .
NT: what did u fuse
ME: sir we had a guitar, base guitar, violin, drums, a mohan veena player coincidentally, vocalist.. we composed tunes in some rags and then had a alaap, a basic composition , fused it with base and elec guitar, then jugalbandi b/w drums and tabla , taan by the vocalist ....
and then suddenly he asks the other if they have any questions to which they say no and the interview abruptly ends...
NT: That's it Atish. Thank u. Take a sweet
---------------------------------------------------------------------
GD was a case study on two parties. One wanting to build a spiritual gurukul and the other, an educational institute over some disputed land (the case was going on in a court for 40 yrs)... So what should the education ministry's advisor do.....
didnt perform well in the gd.. made about 2/3 interjections... summarized at one point... not much to talk about...
Interview:
Panel consisted of 3 guys T (Techie), NT (Non Techie) and B (Bearded)
NT calls out my name and I go in
T: Good morning Atish
Me : Good Morning sir
B is browsing my data sheet and looking at my B tech + M tech gpa and seems a bit confused..
Me: Sir, actually I am in the Dual Degree program so i have split up my GPA .. Presently i am in my final sem
B: ok, Tell me atish , a lot of CS Dual students go on to startups . Dont u have any such idea
ME: No sir. i think one should not go for a startup just for the heck of it unless there's a good innovative idea. I do not have such an idea rite now. Its a good option and maybe if i have any idea then may do in but currently i do not feel i am ready
B:Atish, a lot of ur seniors have also set up startups in IIT Delhi as there is a incubation unit ( he knew a lot about IIT Delhi's startups !!).. can u name a few and what they do ?
ME: sir, Kritikal, Elfsys Embedded Solns, Virtual Wire, Genie Networks are a few.. set up by CS and EE seniors. Kritikal works in embedded and vision, genie in networks, elfsys in sensor networks , in fact i did a project with them last year on sensor nets . they develop both the h/w and s/w for it
B: name one prod developed by Kritikal
Me: Sir they have one device to scan the underside of a car to detect bombs. post the parliament attack they did this.
B: ok, what's its exact name
Me: (thinking for a while ) sir, cant seem to recollect it rite now
B: Vehicle underbelly scanner.. (laughs)
ME: (laugh) yes sir
B; what else can it be used for?
Me: sir other security..
B: no, something else
Me : think for a while but cant come up with any ....
T: Ok , do u know who the other Atish Dipankar was?
Me: yes sir, he was the first to spread buddhism in tibet and china in 10th century AD. In fact he was supposed to have crossed the himalayas on foot. He came from what we today know as bengal and his 1000th birth anniversary coincided with my birth year and so i was named after him.
T: ok, so u r from CS rite. What's a hard disk
Me: sir it is a magnetic disk with a cylinder and several disks mounted on it and a read write head. stores data
T: difference from floppy
Me: sir less storage . and floppy has only one disk . no spindle and cylinder.
T: how does the hard disk rotate
Me: sir ....
T: motor:
Me: yes sir a motor
T: what kind
Me: sir a normal motor
T: (laughs) so u mean to say there are 2 types of motors, normal and abnormal
Me: no sir (laugh)
T: have u heard of stepper motor, can it be used here..
Me: sir heard about it but dont know what it is
T: ok u said something about sensor nets. so whats Grid Computing and difference with distributed computing
Me: Sir grid computing is where we can use the computing facilities/ power of some servers/ machines remotely over a network. say some organisation has huge processing capacities and i in a univ can access it.......
T: how does it work
Me: sir uses RPC (remote procedure call)
T: so it would need a robust network. what kind of network would it need
Me: sir low latency, high bandwidth ..
T: more specific:
Me: (i am a bit lost)...blabber something about optical fibres...
T: satellites?
Me: sir may be but is costly
T: no there are so many . talks something about cable operators using them.. a grid of satellites.....See in a univ as it is u people clog the net downloading songs and movies (laughs)..so ...
Me: (laugh) sir may be it is an option
T: so u talked about sensor nets .. RFID cant we use satellites there and what about network issues there
Me: sir sensor nets are not the same as rfid.. sensor are used primarily for monitoring..
T: ok ok .. but the concept in the same
Me: sir in RFID the connectivity is wireless and the chips would communicate with a base station
T: but the network issues
ME: i talk something about cell phones increasing and clogging the bandwidth ...
T: satellites is a good solution i think...
NT: why is optical fibre better
Me: sir less attenuation than copper wire. uses total internal reflection
NT: give me one disadvantage of optical fibres
Me: hmm.............. cant think on one sir
NT: can it be bent
Me: no sir i think thats the disadv.. cant be bent around obstacles ...will create problems with TIR
NT: ok so i am a completely non tech guy . explain WLL to me
ME: sir it comprises of a closed area where end users have a handset / mobile which talks wirelessly to a base station which caters to the needs of all the end users and may be uses a different freq from other such loops....
NT: what's the "last mile connectivity"
Me: sir this very thing.. bringing the network to the end user from the last base station. coz beyond the BS the network is robust ( could be wireless or even wired)..
NT: ok atish lets' shift gears
(this is the part where it gets really gud for me !!)
NT: u have written in ur form that u are into indian writing in english. so what all authors have u read
Me: Sir, rushdie, amitav ghosh, rohinton mistry ( one book), william darlymple tho he aint an indian but writes about india. and also i have ventured a bit into others like I read this book Kite Runner by Khaled Husseini , the first writer from Afghanistan to write in english ...
NT: what did u like in that
Me: sir i read the Kite runner immediately after reading a rushdie. so whereas rushdie sweeps u off your feet with his word play, language skills , metaphors, husseini uses a very simple language filled with expressions. I mean the book is about redemption.. a guy commiting some sins while in afghanistan, going to US and then coming back to redeem himself... and is full of afghan traditions, history from the soviet invasion to taliban... it's a very poignant novel sir and some parts are fantastic...
NT: u know , Mistry and Ghosh both were from Stephen's. So can u sort of compare them...
Me: sir i have read only one novel of mistry. "A Fine Balance"...so it would be difficult to compare...hmmmm.. i think mistry pays more details to attention. ( i talk about an incident from the book).. his novel is based in bombay tho he calls it a seaside city in western india...
Ghosh's last novel that i read ( the hungry tide) is based in sunderbans. the other one was Shadow Lines and based in dhaka, kolkata and london.. they both explore the issue of identity crisis.. In hungry tide u have a us born and bred girl coming to india for the first time...
NT: so what is the fine balance in the novel
Me: sir between hope and dispair
NT: do u think it was a fine balance
ME: no sir , to me the dispairs of the 4 main characters of the novel were far greater than the hope that they had...
NT: ok lets change gears again Atish
NT: so u play the guitar... do u know vishwa mohan bhatt
ME: yes sir, i have even seen him perform in IIT
NT; what does he play .. he did something to the guitar ...
ME: he plays the Mohan veena, he invented this instrument.. He attached strings underneath the normal six strings of a hawaiian guitar which resonate with the above strings...
NT: whats the diff b/w hawaiian and spanish guitar
ME: sir spnish is played with the fingers and hawaiian is played with an iron /steel rod since there is a bridge at the end of the fret board
NT: u also play the tabla.....asks some term.. do u know this
Me: no sir i havent heard about it. may be the terminology is different
NT: do u know what "Nad" is
ME: sir heard about it but do not know
NT: so what do u play(taals in tabla)
Me ; sir mostly roopak, dadra, teental, keherwa. we had a fusion band in IIT .
NT: what did u fuse
ME: sir we had a guitar, base guitar, violin, drums, a mohan veena player coincidentally, vocalist.. we composed tunes in some rags and then had a alaap, a basic composition , fused it with base and elec guitar, then jugalbandi b/w drums and tabla , taan by the vocalist ....
and then suddenly he asks the other if they have any questions to which they say no and the interview abruptly ends...
NT: That's it Atish. Thank u. Take a sweet
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, February 10, 2006
A day in my life
I have mastered the art of sticking to routines. For the past 2 weeks or so I have finally been able to achieve a type of schedule and discipline in my life that I could only dream of earlier. My day typically starts at 10:30 A.M when I get tired of lying down in my bed and decide to wake up. Then, after doing my daily chores I head off towards one of my friends' room to make sure I start my day by looking at some pretty faces. No no, my friends aren't that good looking. It's just that they have DT and HT City in their rooms. Thereafter, I head towards my room to get my daily dosage of Economic Times (one of the best things about preparing for the GD/PI of a B-School). It's boring to start with, reading ET; but once you get the hang of terms and begin to understand lines like "The Fiscal Deficit is likely to be ....... most of which would be used for Revenue Expenditure..." or "The RBI today hiked Repo Rates to deal with the Liquidity crunch......" it actually begins to get interesting. I mean it's the first time in all these years that I actually read a paper not because of the pictures it carries or the Sports page (it doesn't have one) but for its main content. It's true that all this was not a voluntary thing to start with and it was only after I realized that in my MBA coaching class I was among the few who didn't read a financial newspaper that I started it, yet two weeks later, I am still spending about 2 hours each day to scour the paper looking for new mergers and acquisitions, the way the SENSEX is behaving, India's GDP growth and the like. All this while my computer keeps playing songs from Rang De Basanti and the Jia Dhadak Dhadak Jae number from Kalyug and every day the songs keep growing on me, especially Lukka Chuppi and Rubaroo from RDB. I think the genius of Rehman lies in the way he uses his instruments, the myriad of sounds he manages to conjure and ensemble, the attention he pays even to the minutest of sounds which might even go unheard if not listened to carefully.........What the heck.Why am I even bothering myself with all this shit. The guy's simply a genius.
Anyway, soon its 12:30 P.M. I get a bath, get dressed and
EITHER...................................
head to the insti, go to my lab, sit in front of my machine, check mails, indulge in orkutting for some time, think about the idea of getting started on my MTP since the presentations are nearing and I would ideally want to finish my degree by May 2006, in case I get into the B-School of my dreams, say to myself that I gotta do someting or else I would be screwed and then finally after going through some research papers and browsing the net (after which I find out that whatever it is that I was planning to do has already been done/implemented) get back to hostel to sleep or play cricket promising myself that the day after would herald the beginning of my MTP.
OR...........................................
remain in my room, think about my MTP and give it up in favour of a combo of Roadrash, gossip, sleep and timepass on the LAN.
Evenings are by far the most interesting part of the day and again there are two versions.
Of the first type are the ones spent in my MBA coaching class listening to India's Power Sector, Insurance Sector, FOREX Reserve, blah, blah, blah...staring at the pretty girls that come there, learning the nuances of GDs, staring at the pretty girls that come there and wondering why people ask so many questions.
Cocktails/Shakes, Starters, the main course and Desserts form the major part of the second type of evenings which are adequately peppered with leg pulling (mostly of the financer of the entire exercise!), and deciding the venue and the victim of the next treat.
The day gets over after another round of watching serials, gossiping and leg pulling follows in the hostel (mostly in my room) and we retire to our respective rooms for the night.
Life as a final yearite can get pretty boring at times, especially so if you are a fifth yearite. At the same time it's probably the last time I would be enjoying this kind of freedom without responsibility. I pretty much do what I like. Sure there's always the MTP sword hanging but that's the only thing. I mean, I have a job, have no courses to do this semester and I am preparing for something which interests me hugely, for a change, and which could and I hope would change the way I have looked at things for the past five years. More about it some other time.
As of now, my routine continues but I would have to change it soon to make sure that when on the 24th of this month I face my evaluators during my MTP presentations, I come out in one piece.
Anyway, soon its 12:30 P.M. I get a bath, get dressed and
EITHER...................................
head to the insti, go to my lab, sit in front of my machine, check mails, indulge in orkutting for some time, think about the idea of getting started on my MTP since the presentations are nearing and I would ideally want to finish my degree by May 2006, in case I get into the B-School of my dreams, say to myself that I gotta do someting or else I would be screwed and then finally after going through some research papers and browsing the net (after which I find out that whatever it is that I was planning to do has already been done/implemented) get back to hostel to sleep or play cricket promising myself that the day after would herald the beginning of my MTP.
OR...........................................
remain in my room, think about my MTP and give it up in favour of a combo of Roadrash, gossip, sleep and timepass on the LAN.
Evenings are by far the most interesting part of the day and again there are two versions.
Of the first type are the ones spent in my MBA coaching class listening to India's Power Sector, Insurance Sector, FOREX Reserve, blah, blah, blah...staring at the pretty girls that come there, learning the nuances of GDs, staring at the pretty girls that come there and wondering why people ask so many questions.
Cocktails/Shakes, Starters, the main course and Desserts form the major part of the second type of evenings which are adequately peppered with leg pulling (mostly of the financer of the entire exercise!), and deciding the venue and the victim of the next treat.
The day gets over after another round of watching serials, gossiping and leg pulling follows in the hostel (mostly in my room) and we retire to our respective rooms for the night.
Life as a final yearite can get pretty boring at times, especially so if you are a fifth yearite. At the same time it's probably the last time I would be enjoying this kind of freedom without responsibility. I pretty much do what I like. Sure there's always the MTP sword hanging but that's the only thing. I mean, I have a job, have no courses to do this semester and I am preparing for something which interests me hugely, for a change, and which could and I hope would change the way I have looked at things for the past five years. More about it some other time.
As of now, my routine continues but I would have to change it soon to make sure that when on the 24th of this month I face my evaluators during my MTP presentations, I come out in one piece.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Congrats! So when's the treat....
It's that time of the year again but the difference from last year is too much to miss. So whereas in the last year I was a mere spectator, enjoying the show from the sidelines as it unfolded slowly and sometimes in mysterious ways, this year I am also a participant, patiently waiting for my turn to shine and till then, basking in the glory of my fellowmen. It's a strange mix of delight and apprehension, seeing your friends chalk out different career paths for themselves either by design or default, revelling in their success and getting more and more desperate for your turn at the same time. For most of us it's the culmination of four (sometimes five) years of grind and toil and the main reason we joined this institute; the campus placements. Except for those (un)fortunate ones who manage to get a job with a handsome package in their first or second attempt, the experience for the rest of us is one of its kind. Skimming through shortlists to find that your name doesn't find a place, suddenly realizing that GPA does matter, putting all your creative and MSWORD skills to the test to make your resume presentable and show that you have done a lot of work, trying to cram four years of computer science within a few days, waiting for the first interview call and the chance to wear the suit that you recently got made, and constantly lamenting to yourself and your peers something on the lines of "Yaar uss time mag lia hota naa..... to CG achchi hoti and aaj shortlist ho jaata ..." and hoping against hope that all the companies recruit by tens and dozens so that "Upar ki junta kat jae" (I can't translate that ...it's beauty lies in these exact same words!), is all a part the grand show known as the placements where all of us have parts to play and though we all enter the stage at the same time, our exits are determined not only by our calibre and preferences but also by forces beyond our control.
The beauty of the entire process lies in its complexity and the numerous options it presents. So at one end of the spectrum, you have the choosers, as I like to call them, who, by virtue of their achievements here in IIT manage to get shortlisted and interviewed by most companies and bag an offer sooner rather than later. A sub species of this particular kind also indulge in the practice of getting shortlisted for every company they feel like for sheer pleasure and then deciding according to their whims not to sit for the interview. The other end of the spectrum is populated by a very different kind of people; the waiters. They are the ones who made the fatal mistake of ignoring their GPA and thus find themselves in a very unenvyable predicament, waiting for that one interview call to get a chance to prove their mettle which in most cases is more than what their GPA otherwise reflects.
The best part the entire process actually takes place after it's over. The triumphant recruit happily comes back to his hostel amidst the applause and delight of his mates who had thus far been making use of every possible communication technique ranging from word of mouth to cell phones to instant messengers, to keep themselves updated of his progress through the interview stages, dreading at the same time the show of camaraderie he might end up receiving which in hostel jargon is known as bumps. For the uninitiated ones, all I can say is that it's an experience which needs to be felt to be known. The coming few days sees the new recruit muster courage and monetary resources to satiate the demands of his friends in the form of treats.
Treats are a wonderful experience, not only because of the experiments that it allows one to make in terms of the choice of food (which ranges from Mughlai to Chinese to Italian) at somebody else's expense, but also for the time that one spends with close friends, laughing , gossiping, pulling each other's leg at times, indulging in visual art appreciations before and after the meal, especially if the treat is at Priya, reminiscing of the days gone by and talking about the days to come. I have always found the snaps that are taken during such treats to be the most beautiful and the most happy ones.
So, as the placement season moves on along with the season of treats and as more and more waiters end their wait, the one image that captures all the relief and delight associated with the process is that of my turbaned friend coming to our hostel and almost exploding with uninhibited joy as he ended his wait shouting out loud "Meri job lag gayi ..yaar.... meri job lag gayi .....". Congrats my friend. So when's the Treat.
The beauty of the entire process lies in its complexity and the numerous options it presents. So at one end of the spectrum, you have the choosers, as I like to call them, who, by virtue of their achievements here in IIT manage to get shortlisted and interviewed by most companies and bag an offer sooner rather than later. A sub species of this particular kind also indulge in the practice of getting shortlisted for every company they feel like for sheer pleasure and then deciding according to their whims not to sit for the interview. The other end of the spectrum is populated by a very different kind of people; the waiters. They are the ones who made the fatal mistake of ignoring their GPA and thus find themselves in a very unenvyable predicament, waiting for that one interview call to get a chance to prove their mettle which in most cases is more than what their GPA otherwise reflects.
The best part the entire process actually takes place after it's over. The triumphant recruit happily comes back to his hostel amidst the applause and delight of his mates who had thus far been making use of every possible communication technique ranging from word of mouth to cell phones to instant messengers, to keep themselves updated of his progress through the interview stages, dreading at the same time the show of camaraderie he might end up receiving which in hostel jargon is known as bumps. For the uninitiated ones, all I can say is that it's an experience which needs to be felt to be known. The coming few days sees the new recruit muster courage and monetary resources to satiate the demands of his friends in the form of treats.
Treats are a wonderful experience, not only because of the experiments that it allows one to make in terms of the choice of food (which ranges from Mughlai to Chinese to Italian) at somebody else's expense, but also for the time that one spends with close friends, laughing , gossiping, pulling each other's leg at times, indulging in visual art appreciations before and after the meal, especially if the treat is at Priya, reminiscing of the days gone by and talking about the days to come. I have always found the snaps that are taken during such treats to be the most beautiful and the most happy ones.
So, as the placement season moves on along with the season of treats and as more and more waiters end their wait, the one image that captures all the relief and delight associated with the process is that of my turbaned friend coming to our hostel and almost exploding with uninhibited joy as he ended his wait shouting out loud "Meri job lag gayi ..yaar.... meri job lag gayi .....". Congrats my friend. So when's the Treat.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Goodbye Dada?
As an 11th grader I once wrote an essay on Sourav Ganguly which fetched me the highest marks in the class and made my teacher keep a copy of it. He had just won his first ODI series as the captain of the Indian cricket team versus the West Indies at Toronto. He was of course then only a stop gap arrangement and no one could have thought that he would go on to become India's most successful captain. It's pertinent, I think that I mention here that I am a Bengali born in Kolkata, although apart from frequenting my maternal grandparents' home in the first two years of my existence (they shifted base to Silchar after that), and occasionaly visiting the city to buy old books while on the way to someplace else, I have few memories of the city. So I am a Bengali but not a Kolkatan, two terms which are commonly mistaken to mean the same thing. Coming back to the essay, yes I wrote it because I was proud that Ganguly is a Bengali but mostly because no one had given him a chance to begin with. From the disastrous tour of Australia where he was accused of refusing to carry the drinks because he was the Maharaja which was followed by four years of exile, to the fairytale comeback with back to back centuries at the Mecca of cricket, Lords and Edgbaston to leading India, Ganguly's life had almost come full circle. I loved him for his silken cover drives, I loved him for his piercing square cuts but mostly I admired the fact that he had been able to prove his detractors wrong. Six years down the line as the most successful captain and the most hated man in Indian cricket finds himself sidelined partly due to his own flaws and partly due to the power play of the Board, it's time to ponder, is it goodbye for Dada.
To start discussing about Ganguly's career stats would be simply a waste to time because 15,000 runs later if a man still needs to prove that he is good enough for international cricket, then there's something seriously wrong with the system. I ain't contending the fact that his run of form has been woeful almost for the past 2 years and sooner rather than later he has to perform to justify his place. Both on and off the field, his greatest strength has always also been his greatest weakness. So you had the "In the off-side, first there's GOD and then there is Sourav Ganguly" compliments walking side by side with scenes of catching practice to the slips and the wicketkeepers. Here we had a captain who was not afraid to speak his mind out, who was not afraid of playing mind games with a certain Steve Waugh hell bent on conquering the final frontier, who got the team he wanted and backed the players he believed in. So whereas Indian cricket continued to thrive, lead by a captain who wore his passion on his sleeve (remember Lords, Natwest Finals), the same attitude got people questioning his methods of backing a few players to the hilt and ignoring others. He made many enemies in the media by his I-dont-give-a-damn attitude and reluctance to stick to the good boy image of a Sachin Tendulkar. He removed regionalism from the team by backing players on merit and so you now have Yuvraj, Harbhajan, Pathan, Zaheer and Sehwag forming the future of Indian cricket. He dropped himself down the batting order in ODIs to accommodate Sehwag, a huge selfless act considering the fact that he along with Sachin formed the best opening combination in ODI history ever. Meanwhile India scaled new heights, winning Test matches abroad and reaching the World Cup Finals. People said that he's got a very good team, it's nothing to do with him but the fact remained that on paper India always had a very good batting line up and so what couldn't be done by Sachin, Dravid, Ganguly, Azhar and Laxman in 2000 was done by the same team with a few changes in 2003 in Australia.
The point I am trying to question is why do so many people hate Ganguly so much even after all he has given to Indian cricket. Agreed he has his flaws, and over the past two years he has been out of sorts but I am surprised to see people actually booing him. What's amazing is nobody wants him to succeed, most want him to fail and rub his nose in the dust. So even at a comeback Ranji match he gets a green top to bat on! People just love making a fun of Ganguly. I also do at times jeer at him for the awkward way he fends at the short pitched delivery, for the way he gets out and his running between the wickets but I want him to do well which very few people do. If a Sachin or a Viru goes out of form we pray for him but I haven't seen anything of the sort happening for Dada except in Kolkata. I am yet to fathom the reason for this collective hatred that he is subjected to. Surely he's not the worst cricketer to have played for India but he is by far the most hated one. One very interesting viewpoint on anti-Gangulyism is this.
So is this the end of the road for Dada? Does he still have the stomach for a fight? Is this the last we have seen of Sourav Ganguly the batsman or will he make another comeback? For all those who miss his cover drives and lofty sixes, I just hope he has one last hurrah.
To start discussing about Ganguly's career stats would be simply a waste to time because 15,000 runs later if a man still needs to prove that he is good enough for international cricket, then there's something seriously wrong with the system. I ain't contending the fact that his run of form has been woeful almost for the past 2 years and sooner rather than later he has to perform to justify his place. Both on and off the field, his greatest strength has always also been his greatest weakness. So you had the "In the off-side, first there's GOD and then there is Sourav Ganguly" compliments walking side by side with scenes of catching practice to the slips and the wicketkeepers. Here we had a captain who was not afraid to speak his mind out, who was not afraid of playing mind games with a certain Steve Waugh hell bent on conquering the final frontier, who got the team he wanted and backed the players he believed in. So whereas Indian cricket continued to thrive, lead by a captain who wore his passion on his sleeve (remember Lords, Natwest Finals), the same attitude got people questioning his methods of backing a few players to the hilt and ignoring others. He made many enemies in the media by his I-dont-give-a-damn attitude and reluctance to stick to the good boy image of a Sachin Tendulkar. He removed regionalism from the team by backing players on merit and so you now have Yuvraj, Harbhajan, Pathan, Zaheer and Sehwag forming the future of Indian cricket. He dropped himself down the batting order in ODIs to accommodate Sehwag, a huge selfless act considering the fact that he along with Sachin formed the best opening combination in ODI history ever. Meanwhile India scaled new heights, winning Test matches abroad and reaching the World Cup Finals. People said that he's got a very good team, it's nothing to do with him but the fact remained that on paper India always had a very good batting line up and so what couldn't be done by Sachin, Dravid, Ganguly, Azhar and Laxman in 2000 was done by the same team with a few changes in 2003 in Australia.
The point I am trying to question is why do so many people hate Ganguly so much even after all he has given to Indian cricket. Agreed he has his flaws, and over the past two years he has been out of sorts but I am surprised to see people actually booing him. What's amazing is nobody wants him to succeed, most want him to fail and rub his nose in the dust. So even at a comeback Ranji match he gets a green top to bat on! People just love making a fun of Ganguly. I also do at times jeer at him for the awkward way he fends at the short pitched delivery, for the way he gets out and his running between the wickets but I want him to do well which very few people do. If a Sachin or a Viru goes out of form we pray for him but I haven't seen anything of the sort happening for Dada except in Kolkata. I am yet to fathom the reason for this collective hatred that he is subjected to. Surely he's not the worst cricketer to have played for India but he is by far the most hated one. One very interesting viewpoint on anti-Gangulyism is this.
So is this the end of the road for Dada? Does he still have the stomach for a fight? Is this the last we have seen of Sourav Ganguly the batsman or will he make another comeback? For all those who miss his cover drives and lofty sixes, I just hope he has one last hurrah.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
A,B,C,F and the wonder of the D
It's amazing how such elementary letters assume such mammoth proportions when seen in a particular context. Here in my college, love them or hate them but you simply can't get them out of your system and so even after four and a half years of Cs and B negs, peppered with a dash of D here and a B or an A there (hard to believe but true!), these letters and the power they seem to hold on us still continue to amaze me. As hard as I might try to convince myself that I am a member of the "yeh sab moh maya hai" club yet at the end of the semester, a missed B neg still hurts albeit only for a moment and a surprise A neg (only happened this sem) still manages to bring a smile and a spring in my step.
Cs and B negs being the most prominently featuring grades in my grade sheet demand that I start with them. When you are a six pointer like me, it's mostly because you got a C where your batchmate, who was doing just as well before the majors, ended up getting a B neg by virtue of cracking the majors; which sadly is a thing I have never managed to accomplish. Occasionally when you do get a B neg, it turns out that the course was way too easy for the others who end up getting a B. A C, therefore turns out to be the most significant grade in the scheme of things for those who lie in the 6 to 7.5 range who in turn form the majority of the population, becoming the habit for the lower half and an aberration for the later. At first when at the end of the semester I found myself in this peculiar predicament where I ended up getting a C when I knew I could easily have got a B neg, it used to upset me a lot and I ended up cursing the system, but nine semesters and several courses later, the sting is almost negligible and the system is no longer blamed mostly because as the semesters go by you tend to care less and less about the grades and partly because in the overall picture, things even out and you do get some Bs and B negs even when you don't deserve them.
Then there is the A family comprising of two members, A and A neg. Now, according to me there are three types of people who get these grades. The first ones are the stereotypical maggus, the boring kind who grind their way to an A and make life tough for everyone. The second are the studs, the ones who don't seem to do much work but somehow manage to get the maximum marks in the class. There's nothing much you can do about both these types although you tend to hate the first ones more and forgive the geniuses amongst us by praying to the almighty "Forgive them, O Lord for they know not what they are doing". Finally there is the third and the most interesting species of which I am a proud member. These species have a peculiarity which makes them outshine the others in a particular field whereas they continue to lower the class average in other more important courses. So you have new terms being coined like the Hukka Stud, MA Stud or the Lab Phodu and so on. From personal experience I must confess it's an unique feeling just for once to be the best in the class, to feel what the nine or even an eight pointer feels day in day out, course after course. So when I got my first A in a Humanity course and followed it up with another in the next semester, I instantly became the Hukka Stud and even after a few A negs and an "aberration" the tag still persists. But then again the toppers probably feel differently because for them it's the way of life and not something meant to be celebrated or get excited about. Who knows.
And so finally we come to D, the most important of all grades. People who get it tread the very thin line between pass and fail. The relief and happiness associated with D is something you have got to feel to know anything about it. So when at 29.6 the Prof gives you an E (which by the way happens to be the first in you otherwise unblemished carrer) which is followed by 15 minutes of pleading with complete disregard to self esteem, the ground beneath your feet seems to have vanished. And then when you play your last card and say "Sir, 29.6 rounded off is 30..." and the Prof waits for 5 seconds which seem like eternity and says "OK, I will give you a D"; the elation is unparalleled, the relief unprecedented, it's more than any A could ever give you.
The real value of a D however is realised only when your very degree is at stake. I have been witness to two such cases and watching their fortunes swing, from close quarters made me realise the power D could have on our lives. So a D in a PH course paved the way for a PhD for someone last semester and only a few days back when I rang up one of my dear friends from in front of the Prof's room who was teaching the one course on which his degree hung and said "Dost, tera Dikka lag gaya...." the voice at the other end almost cracked out of a mix of relief and ecstasy for no one would ever have been happier on getting a D, in fact no one would have ever experienced the kind of joy D brought to my friend by even getting an A in a course; for it heralded the end of more than a mere course. He had finally earned his B.Tech degree from IIT Delhi, he was finally an engineer, the thing he had set out to become four and a half years earlier and it is, I hope the begining of a new phase in his life. To him this blog is dedicated. Congratulations my friend.
Cs and B negs being the most prominently featuring grades in my grade sheet demand that I start with them. When you are a six pointer like me, it's mostly because you got a C where your batchmate, who was doing just as well before the majors, ended up getting a B neg by virtue of cracking the majors; which sadly is a thing I have never managed to accomplish. Occasionally when you do get a B neg, it turns out that the course was way too easy for the others who end up getting a B. A C, therefore turns out to be the most significant grade in the scheme of things for those who lie in the 6 to 7.5 range who in turn form the majority of the population, becoming the habit for the lower half and an aberration for the later. At first when at the end of the semester I found myself in this peculiar predicament where I ended up getting a C when I knew I could easily have got a B neg, it used to upset me a lot and I ended up cursing the system, but nine semesters and several courses later, the sting is almost negligible and the system is no longer blamed mostly because as the semesters go by you tend to care less and less about the grades and partly because in the overall picture, things even out and you do get some Bs and B negs even when you don't deserve them.
Then there is the A family comprising of two members, A and A neg. Now, according to me there are three types of people who get these grades. The first ones are the stereotypical maggus, the boring kind who grind their way to an A and make life tough for everyone. The second are the studs, the ones who don't seem to do much work but somehow manage to get the maximum marks in the class. There's nothing much you can do about both these types although you tend to hate the first ones more and forgive the geniuses amongst us by praying to the almighty "Forgive them, O Lord for they know not what they are doing". Finally there is the third and the most interesting species of which I am a proud member. These species have a peculiarity which makes them outshine the others in a particular field whereas they continue to lower the class average in other more important courses. So you have new terms being coined like the Hukka Stud, MA Stud or the Lab Phodu and so on. From personal experience I must confess it's an unique feeling just for once to be the best in the class, to feel what the nine or even an eight pointer feels day in day out, course after course. So when I got my first A in a Humanity course and followed it up with another in the next semester, I instantly became the Hukka Stud and even after a few A negs and an "aberration" the tag still persists. But then again the toppers probably feel differently because for them it's the way of life and not something meant to be celebrated or get excited about. Who knows.
And so finally we come to D, the most important of all grades. People who get it tread the very thin line between pass and fail. The relief and happiness associated with D is something you have got to feel to know anything about it. So when at 29.6 the Prof gives you an E (which by the way happens to be the first in you otherwise unblemished carrer) which is followed by 15 minutes of pleading with complete disregard to self esteem, the ground beneath your feet seems to have vanished. And then when you play your last card and say "Sir, 29.6 rounded off is 30..." and the Prof waits for 5 seconds which seem like eternity and says "OK, I will give you a D"; the elation is unparalleled, the relief unprecedented, it's more than any A could ever give you.
The real value of a D however is realised only when your very degree is at stake. I have been witness to two such cases and watching their fortunes swing, from close quarters made me realise the power D could have on our lives. So a D in a PH course paved the way for a PhD for someone last semester and only a few days back when I rang up one of my dear friends from in front of the Prof's room who was teaching the one course on which his degree hung and said "Dost, tera Dikka lag gaya...." the voice at the other end almost cracked out of a mix of relief and ecstasy for no one would ever have been happier on getting a D, in fact no one would have ever experienced the kind of joy D brought to my friend by even getting an A in a course; for it heralded the end of more than a mere course. He had finally earned his B.Tech degree from IIT Delhi, he was finally an engineer, the thing he had set out to become four and a half years earlier and it is, I hope the begining of a new phase in his life. To him this blog is dedicated. Congratulations my friend.
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