Once

It's the most incredible film I've seen in quite some time. The actors, the story, the spontaneity with which things unfold, the realism in the way the 'Guy' and the 'Girl' start feeling the nuances of the melody as they sing Falling Slowly; it's sheer brilliance. It's a film which gave me goosebumps and I don't even know why. It's a film which I knew I would love from the very first shot. It's a film which just keeps getting better and better with every scene till it ends and you are left with the scenes and the songs buzzing in your head. As musicals go, this one beats the few I have seen with its uniqueness in weaving the songs into the narrative of the story in a way which you have to see to know.

Right now, I'm just in a different place. Yes, this movie is that good. At least that's what I felt. So I'll leave you with two of its most beautiful songs. Get hold of the soundtrack. I could do a separate post on it. Each song, even the 'Broken Hearted Hoover Fixer Sucker Guy', is a gem. But watch the movie before that. It's magical.

Falling Slowly

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

If You Want Me
Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can’t tell dreams from truth
For it’s been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonely and the distance calls its only silence
I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

Are you really sure that you believe me
When others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
You know I really try
To be a better one to satisfy you for you’re everything to me
And I do what you ask me
If you let me be free

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

Questions

Why can't we start with a clean slate.
How can you know a person by reading 2000 words he has managed to write about his life.
Why does every action that you do and every passion that you have, need to translate to something tangible.
Why doesn't the world like nice guys who are underachievers.
Why do we hope for something which has very little chance of happening. Or is that why we hope.
Why are there so many Indian techie males who want to get an MBA
Why don't miracles happen in my life. Why doesn't anything even surprise me. Why doesn't anyone surprise me for a change.
Why do I sometimes absolutely love my life even though there is nothing great about it.
Why do I, on days, feel that there were somethings I did differently.
And why do I feel that there are so many things I want to write about but am waiting for a right time to actually do so.

Getting Edgy

What if your best is not good enough. Not that you can define best in this case. I mean theoretically, I could have always done better. Started earlier. Thought more clearly. Done things differently. Right? But you know what I mean. What if even after all this effort I end up where I started from.

The essays are coming okay and nothing unusual happened today. I'm still the optimistic applicant I was a few days ago but for some reason, this thought came to me today. Really, till now I have not even thought about what happens if all this comes to a big nought. 

Ignorance or otherwise, most of my friends think that I have already put much more effort than they have heard people putting. And I have enjoyed it actually. If for nothing then for having a different answer to 'aur, kya chal raha hai be aaj kal..' . And also because it makes sure that I haven't had to worry about how to spend my weekends and evenings. In short, it has kept me occupied. And if you are thinking what's so great about that, well, ask some of my friends. They will tell you about the virtue of being occupied. By anything. 

Coming back, I really wish that there was someone who knows me, who knows about this process and what it takes, and who would take a look at the drafts I have and say something like 'Not bad.....kaafi achche hain drafts.' The few to whom I have randomly thrown questions like 'Give me 3 things you would like to improve upon professionally' or 'Has growing up in Bokaro had any impact on the person you are today' or more demanding ones like 'Tell me what according to you was a very challenging time for me'; have been quite helpful in their replies. But sometimes the enormity of this process just makes me go numb. Content, structure, theme, tone, dazzle-out-factor, personal touch, anecdotes, coherence, transitions, uniqueness..... How do I take care of all this! And even if I think I have it in place, how do I know I'm right! Then I visit people's LinkedIn profiles and wonder why on earth would someone give me an admit! Ya, it can be a very very very humbling experience.

Anyway, enough of it. Bottom line is that this process can get to your nerves. Even when the going is good. It has this ability to take over you life. And sometimes you feel like having some sort of an assurance. That things will work out. That there will be that push from somewhere which will make the difference between a 'there' and 'not quite there'. So till then, it's back to how my 'unique background, values, activities and leadership experiences' will make an earth shattering difference to whichever school admits me. It's funny actually!

Cinema From Iran

There's a palpable sense of conflict throughout the film. The visuals are breathtakingly beautiful and shots of Mohammad feeling his hands through the garden only accentuate the sense of contrast between the natural scenery and the impending misery in the lives of the characters.

Rang-e Khoda is the story of Mohammed, a blind boy who comes home from his school to spend his vacations with his widowed father, two sisters and granny. From the scene where a blind boy is beating his chest and letting out whistles to imitate a steam engine to the one in which Mohammed picks up a baby bird from the ground and climbs up the tree to put it back in its nest, director Majid Majidi's attention to detail stands out. The acting is inspiring and I have never seen an actor play the role of a blind with so much reality and restraint as the boy who plays Mohammed. From his twisted smile as he recognizes the chirping of a bird to the way he moves his hand over his sister's face to know how much she has changed, every action of his gives you a peep into the world of a blind but inquisitive boy.
On one hand, Mohammed's granny is the quintessential grandmother as she treats him with the kind of love and care only a grandparent can give. She's tender and delicate. She cant see Mohammed cry and tells him that she will die for him.

His father, on the other hand, is someone we don't like from the onset because he is keen to find out a way to let go of his blind son. Its only when he manages to send Mohammed to the blind carpenter and comes back to lament to his mother about how life has been hard on him and he has no one to look after him in his old age, that we get to feel his pain and his conflict.
Rang-e Khoda is a movie replete with very touching but very real portrayl of human emotions. The camera work is jaw dropping and will leave you with a dozen images long after you have watched the movie. It's the final image, however, which is heartrending in its simplicity and yet manages to say so much in but a few seconds, that will keep haunting you.

Have you ever wished that you finished third in a race you won. Well, Ali, the central character in this film does!
Bacheha-Ye aseman or Children Of Heaven has one of the most simplistic story lines that you will ever come across. A brother loses his siter's shoes and tries to find a way to get them back. How Majid Majidi managed to weave a story around this which kept me rivetted to the screen will remain a mystery to me.
Zahra and Ali are adorable as a brother and a sister. The sense of guilt which keeps eating into Ali because he has lost his sister's shoes and the small things he does like gifting a pen or a pencil, to sort of compensate for it, makes for an engrossing watch. Zahra's role is characterised by a sense of understanding beyond her years as she manages to keep the story of the missing shoe to herself. Empathising with each other and showing tremendous maturity in comprehending the situation they are in, Ali and Zahra's actions in the film are simple and real. And yet, seen through the artistic eyes of the director as Zahra goes chasing her brother's shoe which has fallen into the gutter; these very scenes turn into magical moments.
With the same eye for detail, the director takes us through the everyday life of an Iranian family and the bond which exists between the members. And even though not as astounding as in the other movie, with the last scene, director Majid Majidi yet again shows his panache for brilliant endings.